Are You Considering Divorce?
If you are one of many people reading this in the early, contemplative stages of divorce, you’re likely weighing through thoughts about what is best for you and your family; spending hours thinking about your fears, your frustrations, and other emotions as well. We’re here to tell you that you’re not alone, life doesn’t have to be this way, and we’re here to help. Whether or not you and your spouse have broached the subject of divorce, here is a list of our top four things you should know before you hire an attorney. In addition, you can click here to review the Divorce Counseling resource provided by Online Therapy.com
1. Get Talking
At this stage, we highly recommend talking with a neutral, third-party, licensed marital and family therapist (LMFT), individually or as a couple, with the skills and expertise to guide you through your emotions and your personal process of discernment. Your counselor can also help you navigate tough conversations with your spouse, so that whether you decide to move forward with a divorce or not, you have a plan and the confidence you need to move forward with your next steps in your relationship. Our point here is this: You don’t have to go through this alone, and most folks feel tremendous relief after talking through things and making healthy decisions with the help of a neutral third party. If you’re interested in learning more about what discernment counseling is all about, check out our video here.
2. Start With Your Goals In Mind
Typically at this stage, folks can easily identify the things they are unhappy about in their lives, but they have a harder time vocalizing how they’d like their lives to look, or what type of future they envision if given the opportunity to start fresh. We’re not just talking about the legal matter here, we’re talking about your actual life. How would it feel? Would you be more joyful? Would you engage with more self-care? Would you be more adventurous?
What’s at the top of your bucket list? How would it feel to tackle that list with your roadblocks removed?
Would you move?
Would you change careers or re-enter the workforce?
At this point, it is all about you and what you want for yourself, the life you want to live. Not the life that we think you should live or the life your spouse wants to live. Focus on your future, because it is happening one way or another, and now is your opportunity to take control.
Don’t get us wrong, we fully acknowledge that getting to this brighter future takes work, tenacity, and fortitude. We’ll be the first to tell you it isn’t easy work, but it’s worth every second. When you start with your goals in mind, you have direction. And it’s the direction of your choice. It’s the direction that will feel good when you get there. It is the direction that makes you feel whole and complete at the end of the day.
Sometimes, it’s hard to envision the future and the direction you’ll take. We know from experience that when the time comes to meet with a divorce law firm, folks usually experience at least some level of anxiety. Although each of our clients is unique, they have one thing in common: they must face many important, life-changing decisions. As a person deciding whether to divorce or not, you may feel stuck at times. It is difficult to reason your way through your choices, and the uncertainty can be overwhelming.
When we started Freed Marcroft, we decided to figure out how to help our clients make decisions so that they can get “unstuck” (in either direction). That is why we start with a Goals and Planning Conference – your first step with us– to reduce your stress by envisioning your future and working through a conversation around what is going on in your life right now and what you would like your life to look like instead.
Following the Goals and Planning Conference, if we decide to work together, our legal team will be set up to design a legal plan that will take you where you want to go. The best way we can serve you is by ensuring we have determined what you want in detail, which allows us to do our best job of helping you achieve it. Your life is just as important as your legal matter. Does this approach sound a bit different?
If you have already spoken with another law firm, it probably does. The reality is it is a little bit different. We used to do things the other way; now we do it this way because we believe it is the better way to serve our clients. Before we can handpick your lawyer and compile the strategic legal options to help you achieve your goals, we must know what those goals are. From there, we schedule a Strategy Session, where you sit down with your legal team to review your options, make decisions about your next steps (and their timing), and help you regain confidence about your road ahead.
3. “D-I-Y-ing” Your Divorce Will End Up Costing You in the End
Should you go it alone, or should you hire an attorney? It is your right to decide, of course. It’s important to keep in mind that, during a divorce, you will make several life-altering decisions that will impact your life and the lives of your children, if you have them.
We cannot tell you how many folks come to us and say, “I’m calling, but I think my matter is really straight forward. I might not even need an attorney.” And you know what? An even higher number of folks call us and say, “Well, we did this on our own, and it’s just not working out the way we planned. We’ve been in and out of court for the past few years, and I just can’t live like this anymore. I need an attorney to help me get this finalized so that I can go on with my life.” We completely sympathize. The thing is, you don’t know what you don’t know. What we mean by this is, would you try to change your own brakes if you weren’t an automotive technician? Would you perform surgery on yourself or someone else if you weren’t a doctor?
Google and YouTube provide quick and easy access to general information, however, without an experienced professional who understands your unique circumstances, there’s no way to know if you’ve made the right decision.You could end up spending more time (and money) in the end, when you should be moving on with your life. Beyond that, here are 3 great reasons to consider working with a divorce attorney:
- Your Attorney Knows Connecticut Family Law – Family law attorneys understand divorce law and have extensive case knowledge so that when couples aren’t able to come to agreements on their own terms, they can create a compelling case that advocates for you. Whether you’re seeking child support, alimony, or a fair division of assets, an attorney will have a thorough understanding of what their clients are entitled to under Connecticut law, and how to protect those rights. Your attorney should be the one you will trust to keep your goals and visions at the forefront of planning, and will use them to help guide the decisions you make along the way.
- Your Connecticut Divorce and Family Law Attorney Handles Your Divorce in a Timely and Efficient Manner – Going through this alone, you run the risk of establishing terms that a family court judge will later reject as “incompatible” with the law. If this happens, you will be forced to restart completely, costing you time, money, and aggravation. A Connecticut family law attorney will explain all legally-sound options, present a reasonable plan, and advise you of when a counteroffer is worth accepting. You’ll sleep better at night knowing you have made wise decisions.
- When Emotions Run High, You Need Objective Advice – Even when you are confident in your decision to divorce, emotions will certainly come into play at some point. With so many thoughts and feelings running through your mind, it’s difficult to be 100% objective about your own matter. A compassionate yet objective family law attorney will help you achieve a fair resolution for everyone involved.
4. Find a Connecticut Divorce & Family Law Attorney Aligned with Your Needs
In Connecticut, when you’re hiring a firm for your divorce, consider a family law attorney that offers all three approaches to divorce: mediated, litigated, and collaborative divorce. Find a Connecticut Family Law Firm that dedicates their entire practice to family law, so that you can be sure you’re speaking to a professional with the skill set, case knowledge, and know-how to help you navigate this next chapter in your life.
Remember, contacting an attorney does not mean you’re hiring one. Nobody will be notified. Nobody will be served. You can call, talk, ask, “interview them”, move forward (or not), create a plan, and gain the confidence you need.
What Can Freed Marcroft Do For Me?
Even in the best of circumstances, divorces can be challenging. When you need support or answers around finances, alimony, property division, parenting planning, or child custody and child support, it’s essential to have a firm you can trust to give you the truth about the road ahead.
When you reach out to us, we will take time to get to know you in your Goals and Planning Conference. We’ll build your vision for your post-divorce future. We’ll talk about what’s going on, how you got “here,” and we’ll create a strategy to help you reach your goals.
For more information about Connecticut divorce and family law, check out our Divorce Information and Facts.
To book a complimentary initial call or your Goals & Planning Conference today, please contact us either here, by phone at 860-530-4221, or by scheduling the appointment here.